Wednesday, November 01, 2006
sian...
haiz....
im back again....
really not feeling too good....
again, i cry until i vomitted.... haha.. useless hor... but oso v power hor... hehe..
sometimes i feel tat my home is a v cold place to be in..... ppl are all doing their own things.... maybe tats good in a way... cos nobody really comes and bother u....
since young... i've always been alone at home... sometimes its really v lonely... tats y i dun like to stay at home oso...
esp when my hse is so empty....
im living in a 5room flat.... but its looks v big and empty... which gives ppl the v cold feeling.... maybe not tat big... but big enough for each and everyone to have a corner to do our own things... tats y i dun like big houses....
mama still say wanna move to ah ma hse... i dun wan lo... its even bigger lo... still got upstairs downstairs... haiz...
big houses give me the cold feeling....
nxt time i wanna stay in a small flat... hehe...
on the surface, my family may give me everything i wan.... buy me this and tat.. bring me go overseas.... but sometimes money cannot satisfy wat u need....
haiz... actually i oso dunno wat i wan la....
sometimes dun wan them to fan me so much... sometimes hope they can see me as a living thing...
who can understand how i feel....
i jus wan some understanding.... i wan them to understand me more....
we seldom communicate.... we dun tok heart to heart.... maybe tats y....
i really dun feel wanted..... in any relationship or wif family....
the onli times i feel tat im being wanted is when im wif those bad guys.... but i noe i cant go on lik tat.... haiz.....
sometimes i oso feel tat its the coldness in this family which causes my bro to become lik tat....
haiz... dunno la...
maybe im oso at fault.... cos i dun initiate to tell them wat happen...
haiz... lik tat say like im putting the blame on ppl hor... maybe i sld really go and fan xing fan xing....
v sian.... cant slp now...
sweet dreams;
11:49 PM
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