Friday, June 23, 2006
Some things are not within my control.... Such a bad week..
my blue black become yellowish le... how come ah???? weird neh...
This week is really a bad week....... haiz...
since monday....
i didnt wan to cry de.... but i cannot control de.... i oso dun like to cry de.... not i wan de... haiz...
tat nite... not i wan to cry de lo... u said those things... made me really sad... i cry le den u still scold me so hard... scared me le... hang up phone le u still call back and scold me.... =(
v sad lo... now tink back oso feel v sad la.... den i called ah siao... she nv pick up my call... den i called him lo... but we didnt say much la... cos i ask him to go slp le.... oh.. i jus rem smth he said... he got ask me whether i wan to go and find him anot.... tat nite... but i said no lo... tats all le....
tats y the nxt day... i got ask u smth... will u mind if i still keep in contact wif the previous guys and if i do anything wif anyone.... and i got such a big reaction again... haiz... becos i called him...
and tat whole day u still can act machiam nth happened lik tat... i feel so la... haiz... tat is the most hurting de lo....
now u noe le... i not blaming u la.... i jus didnt noe wat u r tinking... and wat u wan... i dunno wat we are alady....
den i told u i wanna go ktv.... u v not happy abt it lo... cos i noe i promised u i wont go le... den i was tinking... if u wan to treat me as normal fren... u sldnt stop me frm doing wat i wan.... and tats y i sent u tat sms....
i noe tat sms is v lousy.... haiz.... i regretted after sending it lo... den u reply saying u wont disturb me anymore.... i really didnt mean it de..... den u wont ans my call... wont reply my sms... there's nth i can do le... i dunno wat to do....
i noe u care de... and dun wan me to spend so much.... tats y u not happy when i tell u i going ktv.... im really sorry for wat i said....
finally when u called me... haiz.... i so useless... cry again... cos u finally called me le.... =(
haiz... u dun like me to cry.... i oso dun wan to cry de... i tried to control le.... but its hard... tears still roll down...
things were okie for awhile..... up till now....
he called me this morning.... saying he's at home... asking me whether wanna go over his hse anot.... but i told him i working..... i dun get so excited as b4 le... jus feel abit surprised y he will call lo... tats all...
today didi bdae... i no where to go oso... den my fren ask me go meet him at nite lo.... he nv say go where.. but he ask me go jurong meet him mah.... he oso nv ask me go his hse lo... haiz... maybe im jus making things worse for wanting to meet him so late at nite bah....
but there's one thing u cannot ask me to do de... u cannot ask me to forget u de... u cannot do tat.... i cant do it lo....
i will try not to cry anymore le....
now tat i cannot give u wat u wan.... as in wat i ask my pa.... u can treat me as fren lo....
i will not hinder ur xing fu.... u can go pursue ur xing fu frm other ppl....
anyway... im still v glad to noe u...
The choice is up to u.... take care my dear..
sweet dreams;
10:55 PM
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